There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize