she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
