just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
