If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
there is glitter all over my balls
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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