I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
