How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
