i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
