Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
