My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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