I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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