brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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