Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
