i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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