his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
