We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
