it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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