Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
