thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
