Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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