I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
