Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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