At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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