He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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