I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we're so committed to being not committed
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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