Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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