I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We have started to decorate penises.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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