he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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