dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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