Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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