yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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