He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
