She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
