I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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