If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
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How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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