Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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