mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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