My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
