you should give me head with plastic fangs in
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
