Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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