these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize