Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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