i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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