I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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