I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
