i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize