So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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