The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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