i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
