Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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