idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
