Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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