No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
