I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
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is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples