I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
