4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
