i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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