i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
