Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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