So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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